How can I communicate with my spouse during divorce?

After two spouses decide to get a divorce, it can be incredibly challenging for them to speak to each other, or much less be in the same room together. It is all too easy for emotions to cloud any conversation and lead to an old argument.

It might be easier to avoid talking altogether, but not communicating can cause even more issues during the divorce proceedings. So, here are some tips for how New Jersey individuals can communicate with a soon-to-be-ex-spouse.

1. Remain calm and civil

Any time that divorcing spouses must speak to each other, it is critical that they maintain a civil tone. Concentrating on remaining calm in any interaction can help reduce the chances that a conversation will develop into an argument.

2. Establish some communication boundaries

It is helpful for divorcing spouses to establish boundaries for their post-divorce life, especially if they will be co-parenting their children. However, it can also help to implement these boundaries during the divorce proceedings as well.

And spouses can set boundaries about communication too, including:

  • When spouses can contact each other if necessary
  • How spouses communicate, whether face-to-face or electronically
  • What spouses can discuss with each other

For example, it is helpful to focus only on present aspects of the divorce proceedings in conversation, such as property division or child custody. This creates a common goal for the conversation and can eliminate the chance of rehashing old arguments.

3. Always think before you respond

A divorce is not at all like a criminal case. But it is possible that an ex-spouse could use their spouse’s words against them during the divorce proceedings.

Regardless of how spouses choose to communicate during a divorce, it is critical that they take their time to think about what they want to say and how they want to say it.

Individuals should talk about their emotions during a divorce, just not with their spouse. And they should not let their emotions dictate how they communicate with their ex-spouse.

Communicating is not always easy

Communicating with a soon-to-be-ex-spouse is a challenge. However, it can get a little easier—and less stressful—when spouses put these tips into action. And it is always possible for spouses to involve an experienced mediator when they must work through a particularly complex conflict.